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Our Small Group Leader Behavior Policy is a guideline as to how our youth workers should behave when they are with your kids. If you see some things that aren’t aligning with this, you should let me know.

We try and keep to all of these, but sometimes we won’t be able to. For example: we don’t want leaders driving kids alone. However, there may be that time when one leader has to drop off a couple of kids and at some point there is only one kid left. We get that. Or, there just needs to be a one on one time, but you should always be aware of when they are leaving, where they are going (public place) and when they are coming back.

Recently I’ve been asked if we have a Dating Policy. The answer is, NO. Certainly though, in our line of business we seldom see anything good come out of it…usually pain, broken hearts, jealousies, distracts and divides the group, etc. I definitely do see a correlation though between age/maturity and the handling of a dating relationship. 16-17 seems to be that age where the kids seem to handle it better. 7th-9th grade dating/relationships don’t end well.

All that being said – we don’t encourage it, we feel the heart and soul are too important to get scarred up in this rough and brutal time, but it’s the parents’ call and not ours. So we teach principles about relationships so that if they do, they have a little more wisdom to help them navigate through it.

Clothing Policy:  this seems to come up from time to time. Our policy is simple: If a leader or teen is uncomfortable with what someone is wearing, they should gently approach them and let them know. We have sweatshirts, sweat pants, and t-shirts here to help cover up if need be.

The problem is that we don’t want to become legalistic or pharisaical about it. No mini-skirts, or short shorts. What does that mean? OK, nothing more than 3 inches above the knee. OK…but I’m not going to walk around with a ruler and measure. OK…if they hold their hands down to their sides and their fingers touch skin, it’s too short. Well, what if the kid has short arms and long legs?

So, it’s a difficult thing. Thus, we trust our leaders to use their judgment. As a parent, I know how difficult it can be…I certainly don’t look at my daughter with a critical eye. She’s still that little 4 year old kid. But I was in Taco Bell the other day with her and a man came in and started sizing her up. You ladies know the look, a quick glance from head to toe and back up again. So, I have to do a better job of making sure her clothes draw attention to her face, and not anywhere else.

The boys need to do their best to not have sagging pants with their underwear showing.

So, we all work together as a family, and like any family there will be the occasional hurt feelings and misunderstandings. But all in all, it seldom comes up.

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Dane Burk

Pastor of Youth Ministries

Grace Baptist Church